Keeping it up
Question
I've been with my girlfriend for a while now and we both feel ready to have sex. I've always felt comfortable during foreplay but recently when we've tried to have sex I seem to lose my erection and can't enter her.
The situation is beginning to get embarrassing and, frankly, extremely annoying. I've had sex before and this hasn't happened and now I'm constantly anxious that I won't be able to keep my erection.
Do you know what could be causing this problem? Is there anything I can do to maintain my erection? Any advice would help because it's putting us both off the whole idea of sex and I'm beginning to lose my confidence.
Answer
You have taken a positive step in seeking help and it's important you know that most men will have problems with erections at some time.
Tiredness, alcohol, or simply not feeling like sex are common causes of erection problems. Persistent inability to get or keep an erection sufficient to have sex or other sexual activities is a common problem, affecting at least one in every 10 men. There can be psychological causes, with stress, anxiety and fear of failure being common factors. Sometimes there are underlying physical causes, which may need treatment.
For specialist information you can find out more from the Sexual Dysfunction Association (SDA), they also have a helpline you can call on 0870 774 3571. In addition, it's useful to be aware that talking and sharing your concerns with your partner is important. Communication can be an important part of solving difficulties.
You can also visit your local Brook Centre and have a chat with a counsellor and/or see a doctor there. If you're under 25 you can talk to someone there, in confidence, about anything to do with sex and relationships. Some GPs also offer clinics for sexual problems or will refer you on to specialists.
Updated: 17/05/2005
Question answered by YouthNet in association with Brook
