Should I or shouldn't I?
Question
My boyfriend really wants me to have oral sex with him. I really want to do it but I'm not really sure if I ought to. What should I do?
Answer
Only you can decide when the time feels right for any kind of sexually intimate act, and it's not something you should ever feel that you have to do. Sex is about choices, and if you rush into something before you're ready then there's a good chance you could be let down by the experience.
When considering anything new, like oral sex, always take time to find out the facts about the issue. Think about how to protect yourselves against the risk of sexually transmitted infection by using condoms, as well as talking through your feelings for each other and your expectations for this relationship.
It's crucial that you're both open and honest here, so if you're feeling under pressure from this guy in any way then speak up. Don't make him feel guilty or bad. Just aim to have a conversation that allows you both to talk freely. Not only will this give you a chance to work out if the time is right for you to get physical in this way, discussing such an intimate subject could also bring you closer together.
Also be aware that you can get further free info, advice and help on this, or any other sex/relationship issue from all Brook Centres, most other young people's clinics and also sexual health centres (call Sexwise for details of your nearest centre and drop-in times on 0800 28 29 30).
You can visit on your own or with the bloke you're seeing for a friendly, confidential chat with trained staff (as well as free condoms from Brook and sexual health centres). It'll give you a chance to talk things through so that your sexual welfare doesn't become a source of stress or worry.
Updated: 20/04/2006
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
