Missing kisses
Question
My boyfriend has stopped being physically intimate with me. I'm not talking just sex, nothing, not even snogging or cuddling. He works long hours so stress might be a factor, but even so it's been like this for months. I've tried to talk to him about it but we never got anywhere. He's always down and worries about me leaving him. What can I do?
Answer
The problem you describe is not at all unusual so you and your partner are not alone in this. How often a couple has sex almost always diminishes after people have been together for some time and it can be difficult to keep your love life as interesting. That said, it does sound to me like your boyfriend may be under pressure at work and his low libido could be linked to this.
Given that you've already tried talking to him about how you feel, you might want to consider seeing a relationships counsellor. This might sound like a big step but sometimes it can be incredibly helpful for a couple to discuss their relationship problems with a third, neutral party who doesn't have a particular allegiance to either person. Although sex itself is an important part of any long-term relationship, problems in this area are usually linked to other things that are going on in the relationship. It's possible that just getting this problem out in the open could help to dissipate some of the tension that has developed between you.
Working on your relationship in this way could help resolve your problems and avoid a future where things might become worse. Relate works with couples with any kind of relationship difficulties and you can contact them on 01788 573 241.
Good answer? Bad info? Want to tell us what you think? We'd really like to hear what you've got to say about this answer so please click here to take the survey. Your feedback is confidential and as anonymous as you like.
