Love letter

I've really fallen for a guy who lives on the same street as me. I couldn't face just chatting to him so I wrote a letter asking him to get in touch and put my email address at the end.

Now I've got cold feet though and feel like a fool. I didn't say who I was in the letter because if he turns me down I'll still have to see him every day. The thing is, now I don't know if I've just done something really stupid. What should I do?

It's not clear if you know much about this guy or if you simply like the look of him. Because of this, it's hard to anticipate his reaction without having some idea of the kind of person he is.

You've put yourself in a difficult position, because in order to have a chance at getting together with him you'll obviously have to let him know who you are otherwise he'll feel like he's dating a phantom. At the same time, your fear of rejection is totally understandable, especially if you have to see him regularly.

It looks like you have two options. Firstly, you can take the plunge and introduce yourself as the woman who wrote the letter and ask him if he's had any thoughts about it. This does mean risking being turned down but at least then you'll know where you stand. If he's already taken or just isn't interested, at least you will have tried and maybe you could develop a friendship or just go back to being two people who live in the same street.

Or, if you've not yet heard anything from him, let it go and just try to put it behind you. This will probably be hard to do if you see him often and still fancy him, but it's your only alternative if you don't want to risk letting him know who you are. Try not to get too wound up over this, although it's a crisis right now, one way or another it will eventually blow over.

Updated: 10/01/2005

Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors