Guilty night
Question
The other week I slept with a guy I met in a club. I regretted it straight away and felt awful as it was but since then I've found out he's not even single and I feel absolutely terrible about it. It turns out he's actually married with a young daughter and he lied to me when I met him. I want to forget it but can't and the guilt is driving me crazy, what can I do?
Answer
Although you can't change what's happened it's important you try to adopt a constructive attitude towards the situation and find some way to learn from the experience. It sounds like you were carried away with the moment, which is fine but, as you've discovered, there can be emotional consequences.
In this case, the guy didn't reveal his true background. But it is clear from what you say you know you wouldn't have slept with him had you been aware of his being married, so please don't eat yourself up about it. At the same time, you know now to steer clear of him. He clearly can't be trusted, and whatever consequences he might face from this at home are down to him to sort out, not you.
Although you can't just stop yourself feeling bad about what's happened, it will get easier as time moves on. So surround yourself with friends for now, and remind yourself there's more to life than men with one thing on their minds.
Updated: 07/01/2005
Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
