Gay porn for the straight guy
Question
For the last few months I've been looking at gay porn on the web and masturbating. When I finish I feel really guilty about it. I've had a few girlfriends and don't seem attracted to men in real life but does watching gay porn mean I'm really gay?
Answer
It's absolutely normal to be curious about pornography and to explore your body and sexuality, and there's nothing wrong with it. Exploring your sexuality can make you feel a whole host of emotions, including excitement and guilt - again, this is perfectly normal.
Just because you like looking at gay porn doesn't necessarily mean you're gay. Seeing other people engaged in sexual acts is a turn-on for many, whether it's man/woman, woman/woman or man/man. Lots of straight men and women like looking at lesbian porn, for example. It's all part of discovering your sexual identity and learning what you like and don't like. Feeling guilty or ashamed about enjoying gay porn probably says more about society's attitudes than it does about you. Many of us are brought up to think of sex and particularly porn, as dirty and smutty.
Enjoy exploring your sexuality and don't feel guilty about it. It's possible that in the long term you might feel that you're more attracted to men than women, that you're bisexual or that you're straight but like looking at gay porn. Or maybe you'll get bored of the porn soon. It doesn't matter. Trying to label yourself isn't helpful. There are many different types of sexuality and sexual identity. As long as you don't hurt anybody else, always practise safe sex, and any sex you have is consensual, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
If you want to talk about any of these issues you could call Sexwise on 0800 282930, a free helpline for young people offering advice and guidance on sexuality and sexual health issues. Another helpful organisation would be the London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard. You don't have to be certain you're gay to call them (or from London), just concerned about your sexuality or interested in gay issues. You can call them on 020 7837 7324.
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