Fancied friend
Question
I'm in love with a really good friend of mine, but she's seeing someone else. She seems to change her mind about him all the time and I know I would be perfect for her. I've waited for her, tried to win her over and backed away completely but nothing seems to help. I love her so much, how can I move on?
Answer
Loving someone from afar can be a very difficult and also a very common experience. You're not alone in feeling this way. It sounds like you've been really patient with this girl as she tries to work out her feelings for the other guy, which shows not only how much you care for her, but also what a good friend you are. What isn't clear is how aware she is of your feelings. Have you been totally honest about the intensity of what you feel to her?
If you haven't told her how much you feel about her then think about whether it would make sense for you to. It might help her to think more clearly about what she wants and at least make a decision one way or the other. On the other hand it could make her feel pressured and create tension in your friendship. You need to decide how much you feel comfortable to reveal.
There's not a lot else you can do at this stage apart from carry on being her mate, if you believe that's possible, given how you feel. Trying to sustain a friendship with someone you're romantically attracted to can be very difficult, especially when two people want different things. You can never make someone feel a certain way so you might want to back off and look at spending more time with other friends. This might give you both the space you need to move on and also provide a different perspective on the future of your friendship.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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