Bi boyfriend
Question
Some friends have told me my boyfriend is gay. Admittedly, he can be a bit feminine but we are very much in love so could he be bisexual? Or is it all just gossip? The thing that worries me is he won't have sex with me and I don't know if that's because he's not ready or really might be gay. We've been together over a year, and I don't want to lose him, but I do need to know the truth.
Answer
It's easy to get caught up in gossip, especially if you're feeling uncertain and insecure about the current state of your relationship. The thing is, you can't jump to conclusions about your guy's sexual orientation based on gossip. Not only could all the talk prove to be hot air but someone, probably your boyfriend, is bound to get hurt.
As far as your guy's reluctance to sleep with you goes, it could be that he's simply not ready take the relationship to the next level. Sure, it may seem as if all guys just have one thing on their mind, but that's not the case. Some guys, like some girls, are in no hurry to rush into sex. They prefer to wait until the time feels right. If anything, that's a positive thing: your guy thinks you're worth waiting for. His no-sex-yet policy also doesn't necessarily mean he's gay or bisexual, especially if he's always been emotionally and physically demonstrative with you (i.e. kissing, hugging, touching etc.).
Talking is essential in any healthy relationship, but in this case I don't see the point in bringing your guy's sexual orientation into question. Not only could it hurt him, it might make him even more nervous and insecure as far as sex goes. If I were you, I'd continue to enjoy each other, and savour the fact you've got a good thing going. If the no-sex issue continues to bother you, then you might consider broaching the subject with your boyfriend, in a kind, sensitive way. Whatever you do, though, don't sound angry or accusatory as that could end up alienating your boyfriend.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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