The other woman
Question
My boyfriend cheated on me, and I want to contact the woman involved. I don't want to yell or fight. I just want some kind of closure. Is this a good idea?
Answer
You've been through a tough time, but there's no guarantee that getting in touch with this woman will make things any easier. It could even make things worse, which is why it might be more constructive to focus on addressing the issue with your boyfriend.
It might be a good idea to talk it all through with him. When you talk, seek to find out why he cheated on you, and whether it highlights problems in your relationship that can be resolved. It will take a great deal of effort for you both to put what's happened behind you, but if your hearts are still in it then over time the experience could even bring you closer. If you decide to stay together in a bid to make things work then consider seeking couple counselling. Relate can provide lists of trained counsellors in your area.
Trust plays a vital role in any relationship. Your boyfriend has called this into question, and it may well be that you're finding it hard to forgive him for what's happened. In this situation, don't be afraid to consider going your separate ways. Breaking up is never easy, but then it may well be the only way you'll each find a way of seeking happiness and fulfilment again. There's no need to rush into such a decision. Right now, you simply need to keep talking, without involving this other woman, in a bid to bring some clarity to your thoughts.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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