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Unrequited love

You want to take them home to meet your folks but they don't even know you exist. If you're caught up in Shakespearean love story, read on.

Boy looking sadly at his phone

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What is unrequited love?

Let’s say you fall for someone big time. You don’t even have to be dating. It can be a crush that turns to a fantasy, maybe an obsession. Whatever the case, if the object of your affection doesn’t share your feelings it can spark a sense of loss, yearning and frustration that may prove hard to overcome


Why do things get so out of control?

Every experience is unique, but a pattern has to build for the sense of love to become so strong that it threatens to overwhelm. For example, just spending a lot of time thinking about that person, without actually seeing them, can cause your feelings to grow out of proportion.


How do I deal with it?

Only time can help get strong emotions into perspective. You can’t fall out of love with someone overnight, after all, and in some ways you need to grieve for this lost love. It’s easy to become withdrawn from everyday life when you’re bewitched by someone who doesn’t feel the same way, but it’s vital that you get out and fill your time constructively.

Surround yourself with friends and lean on them to help regain control. Talking will help get things in perspective, but if that makes you feel uncomfortable (blokes, are you listening?) then just time spent having a laugh in their company can remind you that there’s more fun to be had being a free agent.

Photo of boy on the phone by shutterstock.

Next Steps

  • Visit Madly in Love to discuss mental health and relationships, share stories and get support and advice.
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Updated on 25-Sep-2012

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