Festival couples

The pros and cons of being a canvas couple.

The upside

Nobody will hassle you to share the tent: Not unless you *invite* them to share your zipped-together sleeping bag, but that's a whole different article entirely. Generally, however, the prospect of sharing a tent with a loved-up couple is a bit like sharing a bath with an incontinent: You can be sure that as soon as you relax and switch off something unpleasant will occur.
You know you're going to see some sleeping bag action at the end of every day: Unlike the rest of the festival population, who just *think* they might strike lucky.
Your bar presence is effectively doubled: Quicker service, twice the fun.
If it rains, you have someone to hold the brolly over your head: What do you mean it's not that kind of relationship?

You're basically transporting your domestic hassles to a field: "Look at the state of this tent! Didn't I tell you to take your boots off at the entrance?" etc.
For every act you're desperate to see, your other half will be equally keen to do something else. "If you loved me, you'd skip seeing the Beastie Boys and come along to watch me get my face painted like a butterfly."
On the last night, you'll be cuddled up with someone who hasn't washed for three days. And if you couldn't control your passion on day one, that's, well - eeeeeeeew!
If it rains, you'll be obliged to be that oh-so-happy couple who don't mind frolicking in the mud like Foot and Mouth never happened: It's compulsory. Honest.