Sex with your vest on
Hiding under the covers with your lights off? There's no fun in that, TheSite.org helps you overcome your body anxieties in bed.
Come on, baby...
In any relationship, it's natural to be nervous about getting your kit off for the first time. It's an intimate moment, after all, and demands a great deal of trust and respect from the other person if you're going to feel comfortable and even rewarded.
It's not cold
Nobody wants to feel that stripping bare will spark a) laughter b) nausea or c) the end of the romance. Of course, it's unlikely to provoke anything of the sort, but if that's how you feel then don't take things any further. Instead, consider the following:
Issues with your partner:
- Time
Relationships can be intense when they kick off, and for some it can seem too much at the point where you're alone together and things are heading horizontal. If you've been swept away by passion since the moment you met, then now is the time when it can feel like the tide has suddenly gone out. If your other half is effectively a stranger, and that freaks you out on some level, then keep you clothes on and spend time getting to know each other better. Build up more emotional intimacy, and you'll be more relaxed about any physical intimacy that follows. - Talk
If you're keen for this relationship to work, then there has to be complete honesty between you - in which case, perhaps your partner is the one person you should open up to about any body anxieties you have. Just talking about your fears or reservations could help you begin working on ways to overcome them. - Tease
It's one thing stripping off in front of your partner for the first time, but it's not going to help if s/he's kicked back with their coat on - sizing you up like an auction buyer. OK, it's fine if you're both ripping at each other's clothes like they've just gone out of fashion, but if things haven't reached that level of animal passion, then you need to encourage some interactivity. Taking turns to remove an item of clothing could restore your confidence, or even impose order by transforming the moment into a full-on strip tease. So long as you're both happy about the way things are progressing, there's no reason why it can't be fun.
Issues with your body:
- Be realistic
No one is 100% happy with their appearance, and that's before they shed their togs. Even the supermodels can be critical about their looks, but it's only when you focus on the negative points that people begin to notice. - Bare your personality
Toning up your body may boost your confidence, but it won't necessarily make you any happier. Being cool about yourself means recognising that the most attractive thing about you is your personality. - You're not alone
Chances are your partner is just as nervous about how s/he'll look naked, and an anxiety shared . . .
Too much, too soon?
You need to think about whether you're just anxious about getting naked, or anxious about what's likely to happen after that. Let's face it, you're not both going to strip off, size each other up and then get dressed again, so if you're uncomfortable about the prospect of sexual contact then speak up. It isn't compulsory in any relationship, and if you leap into bed before building up trust, care and respect for one another then it won't mean much to you. But if s/he's prepared to wait until you feel ready then you can be sure their interest in you isn't just skin deep.
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