Socially shut-off
Question
I think I've been suffering most of the symptoms of social anxiety or social phobia but I haven't got time to spend hours with a counsellor trying to get a diagnosis so I was wondering if you could help.
Basically, in some social situations I just shut off. I become ridiculously aware of everything I say or do and this makes me shut up completely. When this happens I'll try to think of an excuse to go but I can't even manage to say goodbye so I'll be stuck there even longer. Once I do get away I feel I've been rude and I'll go over and over it in my head for the rest of the night. In the end I'm so upset I don't know what to do.
The whole thing is beginning to rule my life. It's crippling me mentally because I worry so much and avoid doing things to stop the worry, and then end up worrying even more. It even makes me feel physically ill. If you could help me, I'd be very grateful.
Answer
Symptoms of anxiety can be extremely overwhelming and affect people in a variety of ways, both physically and mentally. Anxiety attacks can be very frightening and, even following recovery, it is perfectly natural to feel shocked, embarrassed and upset. But there are ways of managing and overcoming anxiety.
The kind of symptoms you describe: feeling completely shut off; physically ill; upset; and having a heightened awareness of your movements, could be related to social anxiety disorder. But only a professional can make a diagnosis. Although you're busy, it may be worth taking some time out to seek a professional opinion from your local doctor (GP).
You don't say whether there's anything that may be causing you to feel anxious. Something could have happened to trigger these feelings, or maybe particular areas of your life are affecting your feelings, such as relationships or exams. You may want to think about these issues individually. But sometimes there's no obvious reason for feelings of anxiety, so it's hard to know what is causing it.
The feelings you describe must be very difficult to deal with and you are certainly not alone in struggling to cope with these kinds of issues. There is some information here on TheSite.org about anxiety and how to begin tackling it. No More Panic also offer very comprehensive information, support and advice via their website. You may also like to consider taking a look at the First Steps website, since they offer further sources of help, including telephone counselling, support groups and a helpline, available on 0845 120 2916.
If you visit your GP they will be able to explore the treatment options for anxiety with you. Antidepressants are commonly used to treat cases of anxiety. As with any medication, they do have side effects and can take up to six weeks before they have a significant, positive impact. There are many types and some work better for certain people than others. However, there are also alternative methods of treating anxiety such as talking treatments - for example, Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Your GP will be able to discuss the options with you, or suggest other avenues of support available to you.
Although you say you are reluctant, talking to someone like a counsellor or therapist can be helpful. They may help you to work through your issues and work out ways of handling your anxiety in a confidential, non-judgemental environment. If you'd like to seek this form of support independently, Youth Access have a search engine on their website which will allow you to search for a local service. Alternatively, your GP will be able to refer you to an appropriate service. Although you say you do not have the time, this may help you to work through any issues and give you a chance to improve your situation.
In addition, although talking to friends and family can be difficult, if there is someone you trust to confide in, it might help you to make a start on understanding your needs. It may also give them a better insight into your situation, so they can offer you more effective support and understanding. If this seems hard or uncomfortable for you, you might like to consider talking in confidence to SANELINE on 0845 767 8000. You can talk through any feelings and worries you have with them.
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Question answered by SANE
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