Abuse anxiety

I've recently realised that I was abused by my parents when I was younger. It's left me with a feeling of unworthiness - I feel I deserved the abuse and I can't understand why I have good friends who care for me. I often think that they're too good for me and I'm dragging them down.

I also suffer from anxiety and I've started to have panic attacks nearly every day. These are made worse when I'm in a quiet room with other people, so they're particularly bad when I do exams. A lot of the time I have to leave the room and try relaxation techniques to stop them from worsening, but this doesn't always work. How can I stop my panic attacks?

Realising you may have been abused by your parents when you were younger must have been very upsetting. Understandably, child abuse can have a big psychological impact on people in later life, and accepting what happened can be a difficult and isolating experience. Even though you feel unworthy of the care and friendships you have, it's important to realise that nobody deserves to be treated in an abusive way.

Sometimes it can help to talk to others who share similar experiences -  there are support groups across the country and you can also call The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) Support Line on 0800 085 3330 .

Anxiety attacks can be very frightening - even following recovery, it's perfectly natural to feel shocked, embarrassed and upset, especially when they happen in public. You're certainly not alone in struggling to manage your anxiety. Everyone feels anxious some of the time, especially when stressful things are happening (such as exams), but some experiences can be more intense than others. However, there are ways of managing and overcoming them. No More Panic offer very comprehensive information, support and advice via their website. You could also consider finding further sources of help, including telephone counselling and support, from First Steps. You can call their helpline on 0845 120 2916.

Your local doctor (GP) will also be able to explore the treatment options for anxiety with you. Antidepressants are commonly used to treat cases of anxiety, but as with any medication, they can have side effects and often take up to six weeks before they have a significant, positive impact. There are many types and some work better for certain people than others. There are also alternative methods of treating anxiety such as talking treatments, including Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). 

Talking to someone like a counsellor or therapist can help you to work through your issues and work out ways of handling your anxiety in a confidential, non-judgemental environment. You can find out about local counselling services from Youth Access or your GP.

If underlying emotional problems are the cause of your anxiety, you may need some help in dealing with them. Talking to friends and family can be difficult, but if there is someone you trust to confide in, talking to them might help you to make a start on understanding your needs. It may also give them a better insight into your situation, so they can offer you more effective support and understanding. Alternatively, you could talk in confidence to an advisor at SANELINE on 0845 767 8000. SANELINE offers a listening ear, support and free practical information, crisis care and emotional support to anybody affected by mental health problems.

Updated: 07/06/2011

Question answered by SANE