Drug detox dilemma
Question
I've just got out of jail and my boyfriend's still inside and due to come out soon. I'm really worried because he told me if I'm still using drugs when I come out, it will be the end of our relationship.
I'm at my Dad's at the moment trying to go cold turkey, but I've had a few beers and diazepam. Should I tell him the truth? I'm scared that it will give him an excuse to start using drugs again.
Answer
It sounds like you've got a tough decision to make - do you keep your relationship with your boyfriend, or keep using drugs? If you and your boyfriend agreed not to get back on drugs when you got out of jail, you need to consider what his response will be when he comes back to find that you are using again.
You might want to think about whether your relationship with your boyfriend is important to you, and if it is, consider using this as a reason to kick the drugs. It's your boyfriend's choice whether or not to use drugs, so the decision is up to him. However, it may be harder for him to stay away from drugs if you are still using.
Although it's never good to keep things from your partner, you might want to see how you get on with your detox first as you may be able to keep off the drugs until he gets out. You might find that you can be an inspiration to him by telling him that when you first got out you were using, but you worked really hard to get off them by the time he came out in order to support him.
There are many ways to detox, including an assisted programme through a drug service. They can work out a programme with you that will keep you healthy and improve your chances of getting off and staying off the drugs. Be sure to drink lots of water and juices to keep yourself hydrated and eat as much fresh fruit and vegetables as you can. It's important that you get any medicines through a doctor (GP) so that you're not just replacing one drug with another.
When your boyfriend gets out of jail you might need some help to get your relationship back on track and learn how to support each other to keep off drugs. Relate provides relationship counselling that you might find helpful. You can access support face-to-face, by email or by phone on 0845 130 40 16.
Updated: 13/04/2010
Question answered by Addaction
