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So you wanna get high?

How low will some people go to get wasted? Based on these stories, the answer is very low. Here are some of the worst ways you lot tried to get high. Please, let's not try this at home, shall we?

bloke smoking banana

Smoking an actual banana = new low

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TheSite.org advises you not to try any of these at home. It seems you either get really ill or just feel very stupid.

Loose leaf tea

  • Lab rat: Veds
  • Background: “I was 12 and bored so thought I’d try to smoke something, anything”.
  • Effects: “It was hard to roll, gave me a headache and tasted dreadful, though that might have been because I used ordinary A4 paper rather than Rizlas! But then what does a 12 year old
    know?”
  • Stupidity rating: 6/10

Antihistamines (only the white bits)

  • Lab rat: Reggie
  • Background: “When I was working as an electrician’s apprentice I picked up a little trick from my boss. We used to buy packets of a non-drowsy antihistamine then proceed to open all the capsules up, separating the colours. My boss figured out (through trial and error I guess) that the white ones were the ‘non-drowsy’ part, (i.e. a stimulant!). We’d then line them up and sniff them through an empty screw driver handle”.
  • Effects: “I’m not sure if it actually worked or if I was just so excited about getting high that I got all worked up. The bottom line is that it burned like hell and made me hyper”.
  • Stupidity rating: 6/10

Various grasses

  • Lab rat: Micky
  • Background: “When I was about 10, I tried smoking dried corn plant leaves and various types of lawn and wild grasses”.
  • Effects: “None of them did anything whatsoever, and the corn leaves are really hard on the throat”.
  • Stupidity rating: 6/10

Bong water

  • Lab rat:The Siddler
  • Background: “I guess you could class this as a pot addict’s desperation measure. I really wanted to get stoned so I thought I’d drink the bong water knocking about in our flat”.
  • Effects: “This did actually succeed in getting me quite high but it also made me violently ill”.
  • Stupidity rating: 8/10

Nutmeg

  • Lab rats: Ikbensaai and Edwardo
  • Background: “One Friday, me and a friend decided to try nutmeg. Nothing happened after digesting a couple of teaspoons so after an hour we downed two more each with hot chocolate. Still nothing, so a few more laced hot chocolates followed.”
  • Effects: “Around 11pm we noticed we had been staring at the open fire in my lounge for about two hours. My fellow scientist declared his extreme wastedness, to which I concurred. Two hours later we went to bed, concluding the experiment had been more than successful. But then things started to go awry. I felt very heavy and nauseous and began to hallucinate demons outside my bedroom trying to break in and do demonic stuff to me. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, so I had this extreme volcanic activity going on in my belly; I swear it was like the nutmeg had begun some kind of nuclear reaction. It never hurt though, because of the physical sensation-dulling effect. After a night of this I slept until 10pm the next day (Saturday), when my concerned flatmate woke me for a cup of tea. I had one sip before passing out. On Sunday I woke about 6pm and managed to have a cup of tea and a few bites of toast, before crashing again round 11pm. On the Monday I had to pay my rent so I struggled out of bed and into town. I saw a couple of friends on the road who later remarked that I looked like a (sickly) ghost. The people at the bank were all very nice to me and let me go to the front of the queue. Tuesday I was functional again, but with something approaching a slightly spacey version of an alcohol hangover.”
  • Stupidity rating: 9/10 – nutmeg is poisonous at this dosage!!

Thin air/drug empathy

  • Lab rat: Org
  • Background: “One night I went tripping with a group of friends. We all dropped at the same time and were up for a big night”.
  • Effects: “Got really off it for hours – at least I thought I had. The next day I discovered the tab I thought I’d taken was still in my wallet. I’d taken exactly nothing”.
  • Stupidity rating: 5/10

Matches

  • Lab rat: Big Ton
  • Background: “When I was about eight I had a session with an older and far more worldly mate where we lit matches and inhaled the clouds of poisonous gas. I did my bit, I took it in. We did about 6 matches each in the sesh”.
  • Effects: “What a rush! I still have a shadow on one of my lungs! Actually, there was no effect really, but we felt really naughty”.
  • Stupidity rating: 7/10

Coloured paper/hope

  • Lab rat: Hamie
  • Background: “While living in an apartment block of recent pysch out-patients and refugees, a good friend sent me a letter which said almost nothing, but stuck in the middle was a piece of cardboard. It was brightly coloured and had a line of smiling cartoon figures dancing. I immediately took this to be LSD and had half with a friend. We sat down, had a joint and preceded to set the mood – low lighting, mellow trippy music, incense, etc.”
  • Effects: “About half an hour later we both began to ‘feel’ the trip come on, so we had another joint and both expressed how nice it was. Half an hour later we were starting to doubt the strength of it. Two hours later it dawned on us that it was no longer working. This was because the piece of cardboard was in fact a raisin packet. Needless to say it was not psychoactive, but perhaps we were.”
  • Stupidity rating: 6/10

Banana skins

  • Lab rat: Lorna
  • Background: “There was a lot of talk at my school about the possible highs you could get from smoking banana skins though no one seemed to know whether it was true or not. Me and my boyfriend thought we’d put it to the test once and for all one rainy Saturday afternoon. We were bored as hell and his parent’s fruit bowl was full of bananas so we peeled a few skins, threw them in the microwave and waited till they were dry(ish). We then peeled off some of the skin and rolled it up with some tobacco in a rizzla”.
  • Effects: “For a start it didn’t smoke very well at all. I don’t think we nuked it for long enough. Secondly, it tasted like shit. And finally, it just made us feel a bit sick. Still, we told all our mates it worked ha ha ha!”
  • Stupidity rating: 7/10

Photo of man smoking a banana by Shutterstock.

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By

Updated on 24-Jun-2014

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