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Begrudging happy couples


Kelly

Kelly loves peanut butter and prefers writing to her actual degree in Microbiology. She dislikes kids, although ironically, has ambitions to work in a science centre for youngsters. She used to want to be a dinosaur hunter when she was little until her mother told her there were no dinosaurs in Belfast.

Just because you're single doesn't mean that you have to give couples a hard time or feel the world owes you something, says Kelly, who has just come out of a three-year relationship.

If you're a lass, it's likely you'll be a fan of Helen Fielding's adorable yet hopeless in love creation, Bridget Jones. A thirty-something chain smoking ditzy trainee journalist who sleeps with the wrong men, seems destined to die alone and uses words like "shag" a lot. 

If you're not a hardcore fan, look away now because I am sick to death of the stigma attached to singles in today's society. To mark this year's Valentine's Day, I am giving voice to the burning inferno in my chest that is a result of three years pent-up grief and aggression from the on-going, battle between singles and couples. I happened to be on the receiving end because I was part of the 'C' word until very recently.

"Listen, you people practically ruined Christmas for me when I was seeing someone, I mean, it's not like we date people to spite you. Do you think you're that important?"

I am writing primarily to give all you singles out there an electronic spanking. And you damn well deserve it if you've ever been caught out giving a couple of snogging fifteen year-olds the evils. And how about the old codger and his wife side stepping you and breaking their hand-lock as you amble through them, hoping silently that they brush against that freshly painted bench? Listen, you people practically ruined Christmas for me when I was seeing someone, I mean, it's not like we date people to spite you.  Do you think you're that important?

Having been unceremoniously dumped myself recently, I should by default be writing about all the smug marrieds or whatever dear old Bridget calls them. But I refuse to. Personally, I think it's sad if you're single and you spend your time hating anyone who is part of a "we". I've embraced my singledom, I mean, I'm 20... it's not like I am hideously deformed and I won't be able to find another boyfriend eventually. I am not an 80-stone woman, I can write my own name and I can even count past one hundred. So I do not need the support of a partner.  Why then, should those who choose to be in a relationship feel pressurised by the lonely hearts section and feel embarrassed about sticking their hands down each other's pockets while they shop at leisure? 

Instead of being moody brutes and vetoing Valentine's Day at my uni, why don't you go out and do something about it? Try speed dating, join a cult... buy a vibrator, or failing that, bugger off and leave couples alone. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Ann Summers.


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