Scary sex talk vicars
Ellie has been with David for three years and they've decided to tie the knot. She tells us how planning the big day can turn into something like a military operation.
The countdown to the big day is on. The guests have been measured up and the rings have been bought. All that's left is a tricky chat with the vicar about the birds and the bees.
The wedding is getting closer all the time and I still have so much to do. I'm dogged by a mental checklist, which is accompanied by frighteningly large amounts of cash. Everything's so expensive and with David not in a proper job, it's fallen on me to shoulder most of the cost. This means massive amounts of overtime at work. I've been rushing round so much that I've exhausted myself and the doctor has actually ordered me to take two weeks off work because of stress.
On the bright side, many things are finally organised. The members of the wedding party have been measured up for their suits, the photographer has been booked and the rings have been chosen (now THAT was a painful shopping trip). I'm hoping the photographer is highly skilled in the art of airbrushing 'cos I'm going to need it!
"At the moment I don't really want to think about how close April is."
Because we're getting married in church, there was a mandatory requirement for us to have tea with the vicar and talk about married life. I was absolutely petrified - particularly when my mum said that when she went for hers, the Karma Sutra was mentioned. Ours wasn't quite that bad, although it was extremely awkward. The vicar who is marrying us is a jolly woman, but it just felt wrong to be talking about that kind of thing with her.
At the moment I don't really want to think about how close April is. I want nothing more than to spend forever with David, but it's finally hitting me that forever really is a very long time. He'd better have learnt how to wash his socks by the end of it. I'm giving my inner nagging wife a good workout at the moment, and that isn't just confined to my beloved. I've taken the best man in hand and forbidden him from making a speech full of profanities. God only knows what my father's will be like...